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Thursday, October 28, 2010

First follow up appointment #Entry 37

We are back from St.John's and my first follow up appointment with the radiation oncologist.
(8 hrs round trip,two hour wait,7 minutes with the Doctor!)

When I was ushered into the exam room it was similar to the first time I visited the Health Science Cancer Clinic in that a host of people,(although a smaller group), joined the doctor to have a look. Another similarity was in the reality,that once again we were waiting for some news about my future.
Accompanying Dr. Saythya was Dr. Smith,who provided an ENT consult,a student,and a nurse practitioner who works with the radiation department. I really wasn't expecting to hear a lot,because up to this point I haven't had any extra tests done. Nevertheless,It was good to see the doctor and hear what he had to say.

Both Dr. Saytha and Dr. Smith had a look down my throat,and agreed,that while things look promising,it is far too early to make any pronouncement about how successful things have been.
I am okay with that. I felt much better after seeing the Doctors,and left with hope.
It's amazing how stressful it is before an appointment,and waiting to hear some results. I remember,years ago when Dad was seeing the cancer clinic in St. John's how we used to feel after every CT scan. We were so anxious to know what to expect.

Well, the shoe is on the other foot now,and some one waits with me to hear the news.
Another appointment has been made,and I am waiting for an appointment for a CT scan or MRI within the next six weeks.

I have to express again and again how thankful I am for the support which has held us up,and still does. From a solid reassurance of prayer and love,to financial support,and countless emails and letters of encouragement,God has been present through you all to bless and heal. I will never be able to thank everyone individually,but we will try!

How am I doing?
I am doing better. The Doctor has told me to start eating,regardless of the pain in my mouth and throat. This is important to prevent the scar tissue caused by the radiation from tightening and constricting the passage. So, I am trying a little harder every day.
I am still underweight,get tired easily and some days I get emotional with thanksgiving or even just a feeling of being overwhelmed. BUT..I always feel the love projected towards me.
My appetite comes and goes,and eating is a real,painful challenge. Along with the pain,food has absolutely no taste at all.
When I try to walk,I get dizzy and weak. I am also getting a bit frustrated because there is so much I want to do,and can't quite get to it yet. I ask God to grant me the patience,and for folks to bear with me a little longer! I take that as a good sign!
I can live with a bit of pain,and I am determined to "get back" to the gift that is my life,as soon as I can.

I am also thankful to those who take the time to read this blog. It has been helpful to me,especially in light of all the cards,notes and emails I have received because of it. It has become (as I have prayed) A tool and means by which God could bless and encourage His people. After I have completed it,I will make arrangements for copies to be available. Thank you everyone,for your hands,hearts and minds with us. We have and still do need you!


Anonymous said...

This blog reminds me of a Bon Jovi song, Keeping the Faith. Your blogs not only make us feel how you are doing, it helps us hear how you are doing (if that makes sense to you). I have a way of describing things differently sometimes but I am thinking you know what I am trying to say. I will call Mom tonight and read your last entry to her. This shows how times have changed, here I am in Corner Brook, you are next door to Mom, and I am letting her know how you are doing; this is where technology is fantastic. Oh yeah, the couple people who rec'd damange from the trampoline have both their cars repaired and the house done. It is soooooo ironic tho', they got the color siding that we wanted for our house (we built a second story 3 1/2 years ago so Debbie and her 2 chidlren could get out of housing but the contractor did us dirty,long story) but did not get. And the rent a car they had while their car was being repaired was a car that I love but could never afford, an Impala. It is funny. So now I have to pray our ins don't double, please God it don't. Well I have blah blahed long enough. Take care, love Linda and family. Oh yeah, did you rec' the card I sent to you, guess you got so many you can't rem half of them.

Anonymous said...

As usual you make me cry - but I am so happy that you have opened your heart to help so many feel your love and faith as we live through this with you. I am hoping that our prayers and love will be a blessing for you just as your inspirational story does for the many who read your blog. I will drop by in the next few days - I am working all weekend. Love you both - M

Joanne Laite said...

So glad to read your blog again. We really miss you in church. Emily can't wait to see you. I hope you have a speedy recovery and lots of good results.

Lots of prayers and hugs

Anonymous said...

We are so happy to hear that you are doing better even tho' we know you are still fighting the good fight with trying to eat and get strengh back in your body. It will never come fast enough but keep eating,writing... and know that we love you. Linda And Pat

Anonymous said...

I am so glad to hear that you are finally feeling a little bit better at least. I know that your blog has kept me going through the past few months. We have had some rough times and still may have a few more yet. I know that GOD is at our side when we need him and not only when we need him but all the time he is there right John. I only wish that we may somehow keep in contact when this is all over and done with. I BELIEVE WITH ALL MY HEART THAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WILL RECOVER FROM THIS ONE DAY. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I know that God works in mysterious ways that is so true isn't it Rev. John. I still feel weird calling you that but I know that you are a man of the cloth as we will say and that God has connected us together for some reason I only wish I knew what he has in store for me and my family. Maybe someday I will find that when he is ready he will guide me but until then you will have to help me as much as you can. So you see Rev. John you have touched our lives in a way that will never be forgotten. If there is anything I can do to help you through this rough time plese let me know and I will do whatever you ask. Take care Rev.John and we are all praying for you always. Matilda and Family.

Anonymous said...

God Bless you Rev. John ..

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your family every day ..God Bless

Anonymous said...

John, You getting better is all the thanks we need to hear. Everytime i read your Blog you lift me up with your faith in the good lord. We know you have a hard battle against you with fighting Cancer but you are going to WIN this battle because God will not let you down. We are your friends and we believe in your strength and in your faith you will survive. Give my love to Karen and family. All your friends are here for you if you ever need anything feel free to ask that is what friends are for to help through good times and bad. Loves you dear old friend

Geraldine & Baxter said...

Rev. John,
This has been a long and hard battle for you and there has been not one day that you have not been in my thoughts and prayers. It is so good to know that you are eating, even though it is only a little. With the nourishment from the food you are eating and the nourishment of your soul through God's love, you will soon feel much better. We so look forward to seeing you soon; you have surely been missed. We continue to keep praying for you. Get well soon!
Geraldine, Baxter & Victoria

AudreyM. said...

More people than you know are thinking of you and wishing you well.