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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Radiation and Chemotheraphy begins..... Entry 26

Hi everyone.
It Didn't take very long for the Chemotherapy and Radiation treatments to take effect.

I had hoped to take my grandson to the train museum on Tuesday after my radiation treatment. The plan was to have a short nap,then head out with Joshua.
By the afternoon I was feeling nauseated.
I woke up feeling violently sick and began throwing up. Later still,things settled down and I was able to relax but I stayed at home for the afternoon.

I remember one of my girls saying "I hate throwing up. It makes me sick."

On Friday after treatment we went home to Gander and I settled in to rest.
On Saturday night it started again ..full force.
It seemed as if everything in my body was losing control: bowels not working,sore throat,vomiting lots of pain, hadn't eaten in two days and....it was as Karen said "The week from Hell"
I thank God for Joanie and Dr. St. Croix who came to my rescue with the things I needed to control the pain and nausea. When things settled down I slept for hours.What a gift their presence was!

We arrived back in St. John's yesterday and I resumed treatment. I am feeling better now.

While I am always certain that there is Grace in the Valley of the Shadow,I certainly struggled this weekend.
I will continue the radiation treatments every day until the wonderful number 35 is reached (I have finished six treatments). I will receive more chemotherapy on September 7 and September 28. The doctors tell me the next two chemotherapy treatments are going to be worse,so get ready for them. I'll do my best. My radiation treatment are causing be some discomfort - my throat hurts,swallowing is getting harder there is pain in my jaw and ringing in my ears as well.

Where is God in all this?
I have always felt that how we respond to diversity is a clear indicator of how much we appreciate life. When I was diagnosed with cancer following my biopsy we had a very quiet ride home. At one point I looked up at the sky and said a prayer of thanksgiving for the fact that I have very seldom taken the gifts and the joys of life for granted. I could honestly say to God,"I don't have a lot of regrets".
Of course there are regrets in every person's life .Far too many for most of us. I learned a long time ago that God is in every minute of my life,that he values it,and he loves me. I believe Jesus is with me, and when I weep and hurt,he does too.

I believe that any heart that is not thankful can never be happy or content.I try to receive every moment , and the people within the moment, as a gift. You cannot "Take" or claim any day as rightfully yours. Each one is a gift from God.
It is good to be truly thankful,for when you are ,appreciation,trust and Grace will abound in your life no matter what comes and you will be able to fully and truly walk in love and peace.
I thank God for each of you.


Tina said...

Rev. John, Your strength and faith is uplifting to us all. Praying that each and everyday will be a much better one for you.

Take Care and Keep the Faith.
In My Prayers always,
Tina Martin

Stella said...

Jesus is always at the center. But when you need to, it's okay to stand right next to Him. Let youself be in the center right now, with His arms around you. Feel the love and healing from Him and all who love you flow all around you. God bless!

Anonymous said...

Someone once said to me never lose your faith Alvina and I can clearly see that you follow your own advice. Sending lots of love your way, and believe me your faith is very uplifting to us all. Love Alvina Osmond

Anonymous said...

I admire and love you so much, I can hardly bear the thought of you being sick. God bless you my friend and spiritual leader. Pray you will feel better every day. Hold on to the hand of your savior and healer.
Laura Spurrell

Anonymous said...

So good to see you writing again. I think it tells us that you are back again from all that misery caused by the chemo. I love your writings and the message they hold for all of
us. Thank you for all you do for us.

Anonymous said...

Hi Rev John,how good it was to go on computer this morning and see you have another posting,that tells me you must be feeling a little better,and that makes me so happy.Hazel and Roland said to say hi to you,and tell you they are thinking of you and praying that you will have lots of good days.Will keep you in my prayers,and also your family.Greta